Turkey day reminders

Just a reminder to everyone today is a marathon of eating: don't blow it all in one trip thru the buffet. And please, no one choke on a left over Turkey sandwich on your third round, or slip on miss-placed cranberry sauce that your lazy second cousin dropped on the floor and the dog didn't hasn't seen yet and you hit your noggin on the counter that causes your aunt to gasp in hysterics that 1. Wake up your drunk uncle that just wants to talk to you about why no one in this family understands him and they are all crazy sons-a-bitches while his whisky breath gets you about as drunk as he is at about 2.8 blow scale and 2. Making everyone else in the house look at you 'cause you now have an insta-goose-egg on your forehead that reminds everyone of that time when you were little when you jumped in the pool and your swim shorts fell off, and you don't see how thats related at all, but now they are all laughing, and your cousin actually has soda come out his nose and you've never seen that before and it's totally gross and that just makes you loose your entire appetite and then Thanksgiving is just ruined once again and you have to question why you even bother to come home for thanksgiving and you realize your drunk uncle is right they ARE all crazy and none of them get you. Don't let that happen again this year....